That is what values are all about. In the previous blog we deep dived into knowing yourself and ended with the statement that values are important to determine who you really are. But what is a value? According to the Oxford dictionary a value is a person’s judgment of what is important in life. So we all better make sure that we know what our personal values are. And make our values explicit and alive in words and actions. Doing so allows you to set direction in your life. It helps you to take the right decision in those difficult moments where your values are at stake and challenged. But how on earth do you find your values? We all know the ones that companies use: respect, integrity, innovative, etc. But do you have an idea of what they mean? I for one do not. Let us explore one way to identify the values you seek for.
What helped me a great deal is to reflect on situations where you did not feel comfortable. Where it was clear that something was causing discomfort in your system. Let us take a situation in which you look at the television and you feel actual heartache and discomfort when seeing children in Third World countries that struggle to survive… You could feel a rage within you, because you think: “How is it possible that us humans on this planet are unable to provide for all the people on it?!”. Or you could feel a deep sadness, because you see this one child that looks unhealthy. This is one of the moments that show what you find important in life, what you value, in the best way possible. Clearly, this shows that one of your most important values is justice. Lesson to be learned here is that the opposite of your value, in this case injustice, is a trigger to discover your actual value. So pay attention to those and reverse them to pinpoint your value!
Now, with this insight everyone is able to identify those values. So, is that it? Not really. Values are just at the top of a three tier approach to be the best human leader you can be. Values require to set a norm to which you measure each and every situation you encounter. These norms drill down into the third layer: behavior. The act in real life that reflect our values. Setting that norm for your value is an interesting endeavour. Let us look at the value of love. Love is different for each and everyone of us. For one person it might be everything related to family. For others it extends beyond family and is also related to being nice to people you run into in daily life. And yet for someone else it could very well be that showing love is about flying to Africa and help out local people to build homes. And remember: all these norms are valid! It is just what you are aiming for.
So we set the norm. Time to show values and norms in actual behavior! In other words: put your money where your mouth is. Is your norm regarding the value of love that you say a nice thing to someone you know at least two times a day? Then you should also make that a reality. Is it about helping African locals to build homes once every two years? Let’s get to it and hop on that plane! Or is it about hugging your loved one every time you see her? Do not run away from it and give her the best you got. She deserves it and so do you.
Start that adventure to discover your values, norms and behavior. And have fun!
visiowal 